Domestic Abuse
Domestic Abuse Counselling
When a relationship stops feeling safe, you can talk it through confidentially, at your own pace, before deciding anything.
When a relationship stops feeling safe
Domestic abuse can take many forms beyond physical violence — controlling behaviour, name-calling, blame, isolation, financial control, and gaslighting are all part of the picture. One in four women and one in seven men will experience relationship violence in their lives, and the effects can include anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and even PTSD.
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What abuse can look like
Abuse is fundamentally about control — one person seeking to control another through fear, shame, or manipulation. It can show up as yelling and intimidation, being isolated from friends and family, being financially controlled, or being made to doubt your own perception of events. Childhood experiences of abuse or family conflict can also shape how adults respond to relationships later in life.
How counselling supports someone experiencing abuse
A therapist provides a confidential space to talk through what’s happening without judgment, at whatever pace feels right. Counselling can help you recognize patterns of controlling or abusive behaviour, process the fear and confusion that often come with it, and rebuild a sense of self and confidence. This work continues to matter even after leaving a relationship — leaving is often only one step in a longer healing process.
You don’t need a clear explanation to reach out
If you are struggling with any kind of mistreatment, you don’t need to figure it out alone or have a clear explanation before reaching out. Support is available whether you are still in the relationship, have already left, or are working through the effects of abuse from your past.
You might recognize some of this
You can start where you are.
- Controlling behaviour from a partner or family member
- Name-calling, belittling, or shaming
- Blame, denial, or refusal to take responsibility
- Yelling, intense outbursts, or intimidation
- Isolation from friends or family
- Financial control
- Confusion, self-doubt, or feeling like you're "going crazy"
- Physical intimidation, pushing, or hitting
This is a description of experiences, not a self-diagnosis checklist.
It may be time to talk to someone
You don't need to be in crisis to deserve support.
Consider reaching out if:
- You feel controlled, belittled, or afraid in a relationship
- You're questioning your own perception of what's happening ("gaslighting")
- You've left an abusive relationship but are still struggling
- Someone close to you has raised concerns about how you're being treated
- You grew up around abuse or conflict and it's affecting you as an adult
You don't need a clear label for what's happening to deserve support — confusion and fear are reason enough.
Approaches a therapist may draw on
We match the approach to you, not the other way around. Your therapist may draw on one or several, depending on what fits.
Work through the confusion and self-blame that can follow abuse.
Helps identify and work through the confusion, self-blame, and anxious thought patterns that can follow abuse.
Therapists who work this way: Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)Process the lasting effects of what happened.
Helps process the lasting emotional and psychological effects of abuse, including symptoms of PTSD.
Therapists who work this way: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)A therapist who fits your situation
Our registered therapists have real experience helping people through what you are facing.
Dr. Cathryn Harris
Registered Psychologist
PhD, C.Psych.
Couples, Families, Individuals
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Cathy Penny
Registered Social Worker
BA, BSW, MSW, RRP, RSW
Couples, Families, Individuals
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Dan Watterworth
Registered Psychotherapist
BTh, MDiv, RP
Couples, Families, Individuals
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Lisa Bynoe-Stevens
Registered Psychotherapist
BASc, MDiv, CSFT, RP
Couples, Families, Individuals
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Michelle Hodgson
Registered Social Worker
SSW, BA, BSW, MSW, RSW
Couples, Families, Individuals
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Michelle Pennells
Counsellor and Art Therapist
HBA, DTATI (Thesis Pending)
Families, Individuals
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Common questions
Signs can include controlling behaviour, name-calling and belittling, blaming and denial, yelling and outbursts, isolating behaviour, financial control, and physical intimidation, pushing, or hitting.
No. Abuse can also be sexual, emotional, psychological, spiritual, or financial, and emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse.
Yes. Like physical abuse, emotional abuse can have long-term effects on the brain and body and can contribute to PTSD, anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and physical health problems.
Children's brains are highly sensitive to their early experiences, including witnessing conflict or mistreatment between family members. This can have lasting effects into adulthood, and support from a professional can help address those patterns.
Gaslighting is when someone shifts a conversation to avoid accountability, often by making the other person doubt their own perception of what happened. It can leave someone feeling confused, powerless, or like they are the problem.
Yes. You don't need to have left a relationship to reach out for support — counselling can help you think through what's happening and what you need, at your own pace.
Care you can lean on
Sessions with our registered therapists are covered by most extended health and workplace benefit plans. Not sure what yours includes? We're happy to help you check before you book.
Sessions start at $90 and vary by therapist. Not sure where to begin? Our Intake Specialists can talk through fees, coverage, and which therapist fits what you are facing — call (905) 319-1488 during business hours.
Ready when you are — we're here to listen
Browse our registered therapists and reach out when you're ready — we'll usually reply within one business day.