Behavioural Issues
Behavioural Issues Counselling
When you can't tell whether it's a phase or something more, a clearer read on what's driving your child's behaviour is a good place to begin.
When a child's behaviour feels out of your hands
What behavioural issues can look like
Behavioural and emotional dysregulation in children can be hard to read: is it a normal developmental phase, or something more? It often shows up as tantrums, aggression toward siblings or parents, sudden emotional outbursts, and difficulty following rules or routines. Some children have underlying conditions such as ADHD, oppositional defiant disorder, autism spectrum disorder, or a learning disorder; others are also managing anxiety or depression alongside the behavioural symptoms.
Read more Show less
Building self-regulation, not fixing a child
Rather than trying to “fix” a child, therapy focuses on helping them build the skills to regulate their own emotions and calm down after becoming upset. A therapist works with the family to understand what in the environment may be triggering the behaviour, and teaches structured, practical tools (drawing on approaches like CBT, behavioral therapy, and family systems work) so a child can learn to de-escalate consistently over time. Parents are part of the process throughout.
Behaviour disrupting home or school is reason enough
If your child’s behaviour is disrupting home life or school, or your usual parenting approach isn’t working anymore, that’s reason enough to reach out.
You might recognize some of this
You can start where you are.
- Frequent tantrums or uncontrolled outbursts
- Aggression toward siblings, peers, or parents
- Trouble calming down after becoming upset
- Difficulty following rules or routines at home or school
- Sudden emotional outbursts that seem disproportionate
- Frustration that escalates quickly into disruptive behaviour
- Giving up or refusing to participate, especially at school
- Disrespectful or defiant responses to parents or teachers
This is a description of experiences, not a self-diagnosis checklist.
It may be time to talk to someone
You don't need to be in crisis to deserve support.
Consider reaching out if:
- Tantrums or outbursts are frequent and hard to de-escalate
- The behaviour is consistently disruptive and not easing as your child gets older
- Teachers report aggression, anger, or emotional outbursts at school
- You suspect an underlying condition like ADHD or a learning disorder
- Your usual parenting approach no longer seems to be working
You don't need to have "fixed" your child's behaviour before asking someone for help.
Approaches a therapist may draw on
We match the approach to you, not the other way around. Your therapist may draw on one or several, depending on what fits.
Notice and reshape the thoughts behind disruptive reactions.
Helps a child notice and reshape the thoughts and habits that drive disruptive reactions.
Therapists who work this way: Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)Practical skills for regulating emotions and reducing outbursts.
Builds structured, practical skills for regulating emotions and reducing outbursts over time.
Therapists who work this way: Behavioral TherapyLook at what surrounds the child, not just the child.
Looks at the environment and relationships around the child, not just the child, to address what's fuelling the behaviour.
Therapists who work this way: Family Systems TherapyA therapist who fits your situation
Our registered therapists have real experience helping people through what you are facing.
Dr. Cathryn Harris
Registered Psychologist
PhD, C.Psych.
Couples, Families, Individuals
View profile
Cathy Penny
Registered Social Worker
BA, BSW, MSW, RRP, RSW
Couples, Families, Individuals
View profile
Rev. Chad Tomlinson
Registered Psychotherapist
MTS, MEd, MA, OCT, RP
Couples, Families, Individuals
View profile
Dan Watterworth
Registered Psychotherapist
BTh, MDiv, RP
Couples, Families, Individuals
View profile
Gretchen Savery
Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying)
MA, BA, RP (Qualifying)
Families, Individuals
View profile
Hanah Dimitrijevic
Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying)
MA, RP (Qualifying)
Individuals, Families
View profile
Lisa Bynoe-Stevens
Registered Psychotherapist
BASc, MDiv, CSFT, RP
Couples, Families, Individuals
View profile
Michelle Pennells
Counsellor and Art Therapist
HBA, DTATI (Thesis Pending)
Families, Individuals
View profile
Veesta Mavandadi
Registered Psychological Associate
MA, BSc, C.Psych.Assoc.
Individuals, Families
View profileCommon questions
There can be components of the core symptoms of ADHD that lead to behavioural problems. The frustration a child with ADHD feels, along with sensory issues that make it hard to understand and communicate with their environment, can lead to outbursts and aggressive or disruptive behaviour.
The goal is to teach a child, both psychologically and physically, how to regulate their emotions and themselves so the body and mind can calm down after arousal. It's okay for a child to get excited. The key is learning to calm back down quickly and effectively before the behaviour becomes a problem.
Most symptoms present as anger, aggression, frustration, and inappropriate emotional responses, which can show up as blow-ups or tantrums, with or without physical escalation.
Rather than blaming the child, look at the environment and elements around them that may be affecting their behaviour, then work to address the underlying causes.
Often it isn't the child getting worse, but their approach to managing emotional states that is falling short. Removing what's triggering the behaviour and teaching the child the skills to regulate themselves is the key.
Emotional regulation is the ability to become calm and in control again quickly, effectively, and consistently after becoming emotionally aroused. Children struggling with it often lack the training to understand and manage strong emotions.
Care you can lean on
Sessions with our registered therapists are covered by most extended health and workplace benefit plans. Not sure what yours includes? We're happy to help you check before you book.
Sessions typically start at $150 and vary by therapist. Not sure where to begin? Our Intake Specialists can talk through fees, coverage, and which therapist fits what you are facing. Call (905) 319-1488 during business hours.
Ready when you are. We're here to listen.
Browse our registered therapists and reach out when you're ready. We'll usually reply within one business day.