Sessions now available with registered therapists
To anyone living with a partner who is not emotionally available, the experience can be extremely difficult and even painful.
As a therapist, I have heard many wives and husbands express their frustrations over not feeling emotionally connected to their partner. When it comes to intimate relationships ‘feeling connected or close’ is often a make-it or break-it situation.
When we speak of not being emotionally available, we are referring to individuals who have learned to emotionally detach from their own emotional world or cut off from others around them. Often emotional cut-offs can seem as cold and isolating as the Great Wall of China. Frequently these walls have been unconsciously created by past losses or trauma . . . emotionally, relationally, or spiritually.
We are complex creatures. As humans our emotions play a huge role in how we attach, bond and love. On first blush maintaining emotional closeness with someone we love might seem like a breeze; however, practicing emotional connectedness and availability is hard, vulnerable work.
Perhaps you had a distant father or a non-nurturing mother who did not equip you with the ability to attach and be available to others. When you are emotionally available, you in essence provide others the use of your emotions to reflect, to help acknowledge, affirm and process their emotions of empathy and concern. In contrast, when you are not available or are cut off from yourself and others, another person might feel they are alone, isolated and left blowing in the wind. It is often a surprise for the detached individual to hear that their partner is feeling cut off and lonely and perhaps even unloved.
It is important developmental work for each of us to pay attention to our emotional world as well as others. If you are in a relationship with a partner who is emotionally unavailable, please know that there is much that can be done. There are skills that can be learned that can evolve into wonderful, extravagant exchanges of our emotional selves. This is what ‘soulmates’ experience. This is definitely worth your time! The safe and confidential relationship of trust with your therapist will allow you to explore your emotional self at your own pace.
Therapists & Mental
- We’ve supported 35,000+ individuals
- Completed over 300,000 sessions to date.
- Country-wide network of therapists
Learn more about our emotional unavailability therapists.
Some couple sucked at arguing! Disagreements quickly turned into power struggles. This can be debilitating. Our Bayridge therapist have the patience and expertise to help you understand your partners underlying triggers with compassion. This can be a game changer.
Who hasn’t said to themselves and perhaps their partner: if my wife/husband ever had an affair on me I would be gone!” Not only do couples not see it coming but they don’t always react like they thought they would. We help people in these situations every single week.
Resourceful and wise couples integrate and invest in a therapist relationship for long-term success. Just as they want a medical doctor or financial adviser to be watching over the most important things in their lives, they see the massive benefits of solid partnerships.
Partnering and marriage can be a difficult but incredible journey. When a couple gets stuck, the last thing they need to do is repeat the same pattern. Like a good golf coach, a therapist can see what a couple is doing that is not productive, so much better than the couple.
Therapists, through their expertise and unwavering acceptance, help you understand the needs of your husband and wife, to help reconnect you with your best friend.
To think that you can learn all there is to know about coupling just through osmosis and observation is underestimating the micro skills required to communicate and problem solve to harmoniously work and live together.
Through every enduring marriage there will be desert periods and rediscovery periods of love and gratitude.
A great marriage therapist has the personal strength to hold space even when the discussions became intense. They then help each one to understand that their partner is fighting hard for you to see what they need. Often it is respect!
Bayridge couple therapists weave ‘firm kindnesses’ into every session to cement each session with respect, allowing partners to hear sometimes difficult truths.
Learning to share with one another without hurting one another is a skill and art of great value.
It is the responsibility of every good partner to care for the condition of the relationship! Passivity, aggression, avoidance, or discomfort are not acceptable reasons not to address issues.