Melanie Franklin

Registered Psychotherapist (RP), Canadian Certified Counsellor (CCC)

Languages: English

Specialty: Anxiety, Depression, Stress Management, Improving Self-Esteem, Life Transitions , Grief and Loss, Health and Wellness, Professional Burnout, Career Changes , Trauma and abuse survivors , First Responders, PTSD , Caregiver Stress, Elder Care/Aging Parents , Relationship and Communication Issues , Couples and Same-Sex Couples, Gender and Identity Issues, LGBTQ+
Karen Pitt

Registered Psychotherapist | MA (Transpersonal Child, Adolescent and Family Therapy), MDiv, RP (CRPO)

Languages: English

Specialty: Children, Adults, Families Grief, Trauma and PTSD, Past and Present Abuse, Anger , Anxiety and Depression, Family Conflict, Disability, LGBTQ2+ Safe , Queer/Transgender/Non-Binary Allied Culturally, Racially Sensitive, Faith/Christian
Mark Isajiw

Registered Social Worker | MSW, RSW, LICSW

Languages: English and some nominal French and Ukrainian

Specialty: Individuals, Couples, Affair Recovery, Communication, Anger Management, Child and Spouse Offenders Treatment, Pain Management, Assertiveness Training, Addictions, Mood Disorders, PTSD

Melanie Franklin

Registered Psychotherapist (RP), Canadian Certified Counsellor (CCC)

Languages: English

Specialty: Anxiety, Depression, Stress Management, Improving Self-Esteem, Life Transitions , Grief and Loss, Health and Wellness, Professional Burnout, Career Changes , Trauma and abuse survivors , First Responders, PTSD , Caregiver Stress, Elder Care/Aging Parents , Relationship and Communication Issues , Couples and Same-Sex Couples, Gender and Identity Issues, LGBTQ+

Karen Pitt

Registered Psychotherapist | MA (Transpersonal Child, Adolescent and Family Therapy), MDiv, RP (CRPO)

Languages: English

Specialty: Children, Adults, Families Grief, Trauma and PTSD, Past and Present Abuse, Anger , Anxiety and Depression, Family Conflict, Disability, LGBTQ2+ Safe , Queer/Transgender/Non-Binary Allied Culturally, Racially Sensitive, Faith/Christian

Mark Isajiw

Registered Social Worker | MSW, RSW, LICSW

Languages: English and some nominal French and Ukrainian

Specialty: Individuals, Couples, Affair Recovery, Communication, Anger Management, Child and Spouse Offenders Treatment, Pain Management, Assertiveness Training, Addictions, Mood Disorders, PTSD

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I hate that my partner will never answer a direct question.

I can identify with you. Many of us like direct discussions. Questions and answers. Others, however, keep talking until the answers float to the surface. For those listening it can be exasperating because you have to travel down rambling rabbit trails to arrive at what you are not sure is even an actual answer. One thing you can do is politely echo back to them what you understand their answer to be. “So, what I am hearing you say is you are not sure what you want to do tonight because you have lots of other things on your plate. Is this correct?” I know it is a very long way around to get a simple answer to a simple question, but I doubt if you will change how your partner tends to think and communicate. So, learn to accept and adapt.

My partner is always interrupting me and it drives me crazy.

We all agree that not letting someone finish their thought by interrupting them is socially rude and perhaps disrespectful. It frustrates us all. However, it is quite normal for your communication to trigger a thought that your partner does not have the impulse control to not speak to or the ram memory to hold unto until you have finished. So, they tend to interrupt. Frustrating, yes. Somewhat normal, yes! Just politely ask if they can hold on to their thought until you finish.

Frequently Asked Questions

Here are some of the most frequently asked questions that we receive. If you have any other questions, please don’t hesitate to contact us.

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Why is it so hard to communicate with my partner?

The quick answer to, “Why it is so hard to communicate with my partner?”, is we assume that communication is easy. It is not! It is as complicated as matching fingerprints.

Secondly, we often wrongly think that because we do not have difficulty communicating with others, the problem of communicating must be with our partner. The real truth is that there is no other relationship like marriage to compare communication patterns with. This kind of relationship is a very rare, delicate, beautiful rose whose beauty is dependent upon special care.

Why does it seem we speak different languages?

While you both may be speaking the same language, you are not using the same words for the same purpose. Some people are ‘word technocrats’ and the weight of the message is built totally on the definition of each actual word spoken. Others communicate with stories and metaphors that do not value the precise definition of words as much as the intended message. This one single difference in communication styles can totally frustrate people. Online therapy is a way to become more aware and accepting of your partner’s love language.

How can we fix communication problems in marriage?

It takes work. It takes accepting that their communication style may not be yours. Try to seek to understand rather than to be understood.

How do you communicate with a difficult spouse?

Wow, this is a million-dollar question!
Begin by telling them to stop being difficult. Just kidding!
Because there are so many ways someone might actually be perceived as being difficult, it is a tough question.

However, the first thing you might want to do is choose to believe that they are not trying to be difficult just to bug you. This will lower your own natural defenses, helping you not take things so personally. This will improve your communication by at least 30%. A 30% return on your investment is not a bad return.

Communicating with my spouse causes me stress.

Welcome to marriage! No seriously, this is not unusual. However, sharing in the company of a therapist your desire to nonjudgmentally hear your partner clearly, letting your partner know what seems to get in the way of your listening or speaking, can be very helpful. As we age, we need to continue to sharpen our tools of communication. We need to do better. We can all benefit from a good therapist, whether face-to-face or online.

My spouse doesn’t listen.

Sometimes they are not aware that they are not listening. Try not to personalize it. Often you have said something that has sent their brain off to think in another direction without them actually being aware of it This happens unconsciously. For many people (men more than women) listening for long periods of time takes a lot of concentration and it is hard work. For some, listening is completely exhausting. They just can’t keep up. Keep conversations short.

How do I get my relationship back on track?

Let your partner know how important they are to you; that you do not want to take them for granted. Tell them you want to work with them to get the relationship back on track. Your relationship is a high priority. Ask them if they would be willing to work with you on it. Then call someone for help!

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Experience Matters:

We’ve supported 35,000+ individuals.
We have completed over 300,000 sessions to date.
We have a countrywide network of therapists.

Learn more about our Couples Communication therapists.

Explore Our Therapists

Some couple sucked at arguing! Disagreements quickly turned into power struggles. This can be debilitating. Our Bayridge therapist have the patience and expertise to help you understand your partners underlying triggers with compassion. This can be a game changer.

Who hasn’t said to themselves and perhaps their partner: if my wife/husband ever had an affair on me I would be gone!” Not only do couples not see it coming but they don’t always react like they thought they would. We help people in these situations every single week.

Resourceful and wise couples integrate and invest in a therapist relationship for long-term success. Just as they want a medical doctor or financial adviser to be watching over the most important things in their lives, they see the massive benefits of solid partnerships.

Partnering and marriage can be a difficult but incredible journey. When a couple gets stuck, the last thing they need to do is repeat the same pattern. Like a good golf coach, a therapist can see what a couple is doing that is not productive, so much better than the couple.

Therapists, through their expertise and unwavering acceptance, help you understand the needs of your husband and wife, to help reconnect you with your best friend.

To think that you can learn all there is to know about coupling just through osmosis and observation is underestimating the micro skills required to communicate and problem solve to harmoniously work and live together.

Through every enduring marriage there will be desert periods and rediscovery periods of love and gratitude.

A great marriage therapist has the personal strength to hold space even when the discussions became intense. They then help each one to understand that their partner is fighting hard for you to see what they need. Often it is respect!

Bayridge couple therapists weave ‘firm kindnesses’ into every session to cement each session with respect, allowing partners to hear sometimes difficult truths.

Learning to share with one another without hurting one another is a skill and art of great value.

It is the responsibility of every good partner to care for the condition of the relationship! Passivity, aggression, avoidance, or discomfort are not acceptable reasons not to address issues.

The benefits of online therapy may outweigh the face-to-face experience. One person explains: I would rather watch an entire streaming series than see only a few in high definition. In other words, the benefit of online allows me to meet regularly and consistently, at my convenience. In the end it is all about finishing well!

Since COVID forced our industry to practice online, client feedback shows online therapy can be just as effective as face-to-face therapy, and far more convenient and dependable. (exception: serious and complicated mental health issues.) Hence more and more of our clients prefer online therapy.