Children & Sexualized Behaviour
Children & Sexualized Behaviour Counselling
When you're not sure whether a child's behaviour is ordinary curiosity or a signal, asking is the responsible move, not an overreaction.
When a child's behaviour raises questions you're not sure how to ask
What sexualized behaviour in children can look like
It’s a normal part of child development for children to show a range of sexualized behaviours, starting in infancy with interest in their own body and moving, during latency, to curiosity about others’ bodies. Typical instances are spontaneous, feel emotionally positive or even silly to the child, and are tied to feelings of connection and attachment rather than anything erotic. Some sexualized behaviour, though, is a signal that something else is going on, particularly when a child shows shame, guilt, fear, or anxiety, or seems preoccupied with sexual acts, or when children are experimenting together and there is a meaningful difference in age, strength, or power between them, or the other child is uncomfortable.
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How family therapy addresses this without shame
When concerning behaviours show up, it’s important for a child to have the support of a professional. A therapist helps parents understand what’s typical versus what needs closer attention, and works with the family to move through the situation without shame, protecting the wellbeing of every child involved while getting to what’s underneath the behaviour.
That uncertainty is reason enough
If you’re unsure whether what you’re seeing in your child is ordinary curiosity or something that needs more support, that uncertainty is reason enough to reach out.
You might recognize some of this
You can start where you are.
- A child shows shame, guilt, fear, or anxiety connected to the behaviour
- Preoccupation with sexual acts beyond ordinary curiosity
- Experimenting with another child where there is a significant age difference
- Experimenting with another child where there is a significant difference in strength or power
- Behaviour continues even though another child involved is uncomfortable
This is a description of experiences, not a self-diagnosis checklist.
It may be time to talk to someone
You don't need to be in crisis to deserve support.
Consider reaching out if:
- Your child shows shame, guilt, fear, or anxiety connected to sexualized behaviour
- Your child seems preoccupied with sexual acts beyond typical curiosity
- Your child has been experimenting with another child with a notable age, strength, or power difference
- The other child involved seemed uncomfortable
- You're unsure whether what you're seeing is typical or a sign of something more
Not knowing if what you saw is typical or a concern is exactly why you can reach out now.
Approaches a therapist may draw on
We match the approach to you, not the other way around. Your therapist may draw on one or several, depending on what fits.
Understand what is underneath the behaviour, together.
Helps children and parents work through what's underneath the behaviour and build understanding and appropriate responses together.
Therapists who work this way: Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)Respond as a family, without shame.
Involves the whole family in responding without shame, since parents are central to how a child moves through this.
Therapists who work this way: Family Systems TherapyA therapist who fits your situation
Our registered therapists have real experience helping people through what you are facing.
Dr. Cathryn Harris
Registered Psychologist
PhD, C.Psych.
Couples, Families, Individuals
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Dan Watterworth
Registered Psychotherapist
BTh, MDiv, RP
Couples, Families, Individuals
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Michelle Pennells
Counsellor and Art Therapist
HBA, DTATI (Thesis Pending)
Families, Individuals
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Common questions
Yes, to a point. It's a normal part of child development, beginning in infancy with interest in one's own body and moving to curiosity about others' bodies during latency. Typical instances are spontaneous, emotionally positive, and lack the erotic quality found in adult sexual behaviour.
It becomes a concern when a child shows shame, guilt, fear, or anxiety, or is preoccupied with sexual acts. It is also a concern when children are experimenting with each other and there is a significant difference in age (more than about a year), strength, or power, or when the other child is uncomfortable.
When concerning behaviours occur, it's critical that children have the support of professionals. Bayridge works with parents to help children transition gracefully through awkward or concerning sexualized behaviours.
Bayridge works with parents to help children move through this with support rather than shame, focusing on understanding what's underneath the behaviour.
Care you can lean on
Sessions with our registered therapists are covered by most extended health and workplace benefit plans. Not sure what yours includes? We're happy to help you check before you book.
Sessions typically start at $150 and vary by therapist. Not sure where to begin? Our Intake Specialists can talk through fees, coverage, and which therapist fits what you are facing. Call (905) 319-1488 during business hours.
Ready when you are. We're here to listen.
Browse our registered therapists and reach out when you're ready. We'll usually reply within one business day.