Separation & Divorce
Separation & Divorce Counselling
When a relationship ends, the sadness, anger, and uncertainty that follow don't mean anything is wrong with you.
When a relationship ends and the ground feels unsteady
Whether a marriage ends suddenly or grows apart slowly over years, separation and divorce bring intense emotion: sadness, anger, hurt, confusion, sometimes panic about an uncertain future. Feelings of failure and insecurity are common, and they don’t mean anything is wrong with you.
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What separation and divorce can look like
This is a transition of real difficulty, and it’s often during hard transitions that people are most vulnerable to mistakes that affect them for a long time. Some people isolate themselves; others lean too heavily on family in ways that strain those relationships instead of helping. Left unprocessed, the pain can settle into bitterness that follows you into future relationships.
How counselling helps during separation and divorce
A therapist gives you a confidential space to process what you’re feeling and make sense of a genuinely disorienting time, without judgment. This matters for the practical decisions ahead too: legal matters need a lawyer, but the emotional weight of separation needs its own kind of support. If you have children, getting them help early matters: kids are vulnerable during separation and can be affected even when they aren’t visibly acting out.
We also have pages on Child Divorce Counselling and Teen Divorce Counselling.
You might recognize some of this
You can start where you are.
- Intense emotions ranging from sadness to anger to hurt
- Confusion or panic about an uncertain future
- Feelings of failure or insecurity
- Isolating yourself instead of leaning on support
- Bitterness that starts affecting other relationships
- Worry about how the separation is affecting your children
This is a description of experiences, not a self-diagnosis checklist.
It may be time to talk to someone
You don't need to be in crisis to deserve support.
Consider reaching out if:
- The emotions around your separation feel too intense to manage alone
- You notice yourself isolating from friends and family
- You're worried about how your children are coping
- You feel pain turning into ongoing bitterness or resentment
- You need a safe, neutral space to process the transition
Talking to someone about your separation doesn't mean you're handling it wrong.
Approaches a therapist may draw on
We match the approach to you, not the other way around. Your therapist may draw on one or several, depending on what fits.
Process the emotions of separation and steady your thinking.
Helps process the intense emotions of separation and rebuild stable, healthy patterns of thinking as you move through the transition.
Therapists who work this way: Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)Stay oriented to the practical decisions ahead.
Keeps sessions oriented toward the practical decisions ahead, rather than getting stuck reliving what went wrong.
Therapists who work this way: Solution-Focused TherapyLook after the whole family through the transition.
Looks at how the separation is affecting the whole family, including children, so the transition can be managed with less lasting damage to those relationships.
Therapists who work this way: Family Systems TherapyA therapist who fits your situation
Our registered therapists have real experience helping people through what you are facing.
Dr. Cathryn Harris
Registered Psychologist
PhD, C.Psych.
Couples, Families, Individuals
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Cathy Penny
Registered Social Worker
BA, BSW, MSW, RRP, RSW
Couples, Families, Individuals
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Rev. Chad Tomlinson
Registered Psychotherapist
MTS, MEd, MA, OCT, RP
Couples, Families, Individuals
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Dan Watterworth
Registered Psychotherapist
BTh, MDiv, RP
Couples, Families, Individuals
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Gretchen Savery
Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying)
MA, BA, RP (Qualifying)
Families, Individuals
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Lisa Bynoe-Stevens
Registered Psychotherapist
BASc, MDiv, CSFT, RP
Couples, Families, Individuals
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Michelle Hodgson
Registered Social Worker
SSW, BA, BSW, MSW, RSW
Couples, Families, Individuals
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Michelle Pennells
Counsellor and Art Therapist
HBA, DTATI (Thesis Pending)
Families, Individuals
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Common questions
Yes. Feelings of failure and insecurity are extremely common after a relationship ends, no matter whether it ended suddenly or built up over years. These feelings are a normal part of the transition, not a verdict on you as a person.
Processing the pain with support, rather than avoiding it or letting it sit unaddressed, helps prevent it from hardening into bitterness that can affect your relationships going forward. A counsellor gives you a structured, confidential place to do that work.
Family and friends can be an important support, but it helps to be careful about how much you bring them into the details: turning them into your counsellor can strain those relationships. A therapist offers a more neutral space for the deeper processing.
Children are vulnerable during separation and can be affected even when they don't appear to be acting out. Getting them support early, and keeping conflict away from them where possible, helps protect their wellbeing through the transition.
Often both. A lawyer handles the legal side of a separation, while a therapist supports the emotional side: processing grief, anger, and uncertainty, and helping you make clearer decisions.
Yes. Sessions are available online or in person at one of our Ontario offices, whichever works best for you.
Care you can lean on
Sessions with our registered therapists are covered by most extended health and workplace benefit plans. Not sure what yours includes? We're happy to help you check before you book.
Sessions typically start at $150 and vary by therapist. Not sure where to begin? Our Intake Specialists can talk through fees, coverage, and which therapist fits what you are facing. Call (905) 319-1488 during business hours.
Ready when you are. We're here to listen.
Browse our registered therapists and reach out when you're ready. We'll usually reply within one business day.