What to Do With Fearful Thoughts: A Therapist's Guide to Managing Anxiety

In this article

Fearful thoughts are intrusive, anxiety-driven mental scenarios that imagine worst-case outcomes. They often feel urgent and convincing, but they are not facts. Managing them starts with recognizing that you have a choice about where to place your attention — even in moments of genuine crisis.

Terrorists of the Mind

After a busy day at work Friday the 13th (how ironic), I came home thinking about my daughter’s trip to Italy and how exciting it was that she flew to Paris today. This trip was declared “the best time of my life” in her words; at least that was thus far.

As I heard about the possibly Isis related terrorist attacks, I attempted to get a hold of her, but to no avail….until 2:30 am that is. It was 8:30 am Paris time and she had oddly stayed in her flat for the evening rather than going out to dinner at one of the areas of horror as originally planned. She didn’t know why she didn’t go; she thought it was strange, but trusted her gut to stay in nonetheless. She just put on lovely music, ate, rested and removed communication with the outside world for that period.

In the many hours between hearing of the terror and then hearing from her, I knew I needed to make a choice.

I could let my anxious mind take over and think of every terrible scenario imaginable or I could take charge and practice what I preach. I could put feeling good first.

Yes, my child could be in grave danger (which I could do nothing about in those moments) so I knew, I had to put my wellness first. I purposefully placed my attention elsewhere.

Then, when I could do something, I did. My daughter required emotional support and a way to get out of Paris safely, and if possible, without much cost. At that point, I went into action feeling strong and empowered. Ultimately, the results I garnered for both myself and my daughter were excellent.

How to Manage Fearful Thoughts: Tips for Fearless Focused Thinking

• Each day, in every moment, make a choice about where to place your attention
• Don’t let CNN, Syria, Isis and varied other abstractions take up your mind space for long
• Ask yourself, what do I have control over – then follow what feels good
• When you can take positive, good feeling action, take it feeling energized
• Most of all, get in touch with and challenge beliefs like…thinking fearfully helps me control the outside world……or….fear and worry show that I care

It takes practice and a belief in its value but…..

Living a more fearless, focused life is doable…one moment at a time.

If fearful thoughts are interfering with your daily life, speaking with a registered psychotherapist can help you develop personalized strategies for managing anxiety. Learn more about why people are afraid of change or explore how inactivity can make anxiety worse.

Trish Muir

Psychotherapist/Counsellor/Consultant

Focus: Individuals, Groups; Stress Management, Loss of Meaning/Purpose, Anxiety, Depression, Anger/Frustration, Self esteem, Eating Disorders, Self-Harm, Anger, Addictions, Spirituality, Health & Wellness