Understanding Bullying Behaviour: Psychological Causes and the 'Dormant Defender'

In this article

Bullying behaviour is often driven by complex biological, psychological, developmental, and social factors rather than pure malice. From a clinical perspective, individuals who engage in bullying frequently use aggression as an unconscious coping mechanism to mask personal vulnerability, fear, or unresolved emotional pain. These actions are reinforced by “cognitive scripts”—pre-existing internal belief structures that equate vulnerability with weakness and aggression with survival or social status.

In Ontario, regulated mental health professionals—including Registered Psychotherapists (RP), Registered Social Workers (RSW), and Clinical Psychologists (C.Psych)—work with individuals to unpack these deep-seated behavioural patterns. Through evidence-based approaches like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and narrative therapy, clients learn to recognize defensive reactions, build emotional regulation, and foster self-awareness.

If a bully is someone who deliberately down-ranks and demeans a vulnerable other, imposes unwanted stress activation to achieve a premeditated interpersonal effect, conjures waves of predatory-derived dopamine as an anticipatory pleasure inducement, and invites a celebratory audience or enlists allies to heighten the experience, could I become such a one? Have I been such?

I recall a grade 9 gym-class locker-room incident. Surrounded by cheering supporters, I picked a fight with an annoying classmate. He didn’t want to fight. He looked scared. I remember his para-verbal expressions of fear and helplessness as he stood before me. Somehow, despite his anxious display, the circling crowd demanding a sensational and satisfying outcome, and the incongruent nature of knowing myself as a quiet, unassuming introvert, I nevertheless punched him in the stomach. As his posture folded, I kneed him in the face. He fell to the ground. And like a self-convicted criminal, I ran from the scene only to be arrested by the gym teacher in the hallway to face justice soon after.

Fast forward 40 years since this memory was ingrained as evidence against me. I evolved to become a correctional Chaplain and a Psychotherapist. But my memories remind me that a bully once occupied this life I now regard as a remorseful, reformed nurturer of self and others.

What Drives Bullying Behaviour? 4 Key Psychological Insights

After nearly three decades of witnessing bullying behaviour in correctional settings and counselling practice, I offer some reflections on how these destructive dynamics form and how counselling builds intelligence through self-awareness.

1. Underlying Complex Influences

Bullying behaviours are evidence that an individual has underlying issues (not excuses). These issues are often complex and may include biological, psychological, developmental, and social factors. A myriad of influences contribute to how an individual thinks, feels, and behaves—not just one single cause.

2. Cognitive Scripts and Core Beliefs

Core values and beliefs are formed to reinforce behaviours. An individual presenting with bullying behaviours has developed what psychologists refer to as cognitive scripts—pre-existing knowledge structures evolved from personal experience—that declared (consciously or unconsciously): “I have to demonstrate my strength to be accepted and validated by my peers,” or, “I’d rather be a wolf than a lamb.”

3. De-personalization and Lack of Empathy

A decision to confront, challenge, or intimidate another individual often depersonalizes the engagement. The aggressor focuses entirely on the goal of the confrontation (e.g., to instil fear, impress friends, or degrade the status of a targeted peer) rather than the human cost to the victim.

4. Masking Vulnerability Through Identity Formation

Bullying behaviour is indicative of a motivation to establish one’s reputation, distinguish oneself from others perceived as different or inferior, and compensate for personal vulnerabilities by accentuating a projected social image of absolute confidence.

Moving Beyond Bullying: Finding the “Dormant Defender”

As a former bully, I have felt the allure of predatory excitement supported by hormones and peer approval. But that was then. Today, my therapist-self witnesses the astonishing, illogical, and painful re-enactments playing out in high-stress environments and interpersonal relationships.

Recognizing these patterns is often the first step in the stages of change. In therapy, helping clients tell their stories allows them to examine these past choices without being permanently defined by them.

Through the maze of a bully’s becoming, wherein lies the vulnerable, victim-avoidant self? Or better yet: “Arise, oh dormant defender! Behold yourself in those you hold with such masked contempt.”