How to Enhance Your Relationship: 4 Practical Ways to Strengthen Your Connection

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Enhancing your relationship means intentionally rebuilding the habits of appreciation, curiosity, playfulness, and forward focus that often fade over time. For couples in Ontario, working with a regulated professional such as a Registered Psychotherapist or Registered Social Worker can help identify where these habits broke down and how to restore them. The four strategies below are practical starting points you can begin using today.

Show Appreciation for the Everyday Things

Be appreciative towards each other and remind your partner how wonderful they truly are. Sometimes as years pass, we take the simple things that our partner once did for granted such as making dinner, mowing the lawn, taking the garbage out, or doing the laundry. It is nice to hear a “thank you” once in awhile. This makes the other person feel appreciated, loved, and noticed for the caring things they do to keep their marriage and family running smoothly.

When showing gratitude, it is important to focus on the person’s positive qualities. For example, “You are amazing inside and out” or “The way you take care of me shows you love me.” This will make both of you feeling good about yourself.

Notice What Is Novel About Your Partner

Notice what is novel about your partner and take considerable time to mention what you have noticed. The problem is we get really familiar and comfortable with our partner that we forget to mention important aspects about them. We do not do this intentionally or purposeful. It is a matter of getting stuck in a routine and comfortable with marriage. The key is to break the cycle and do something different.

Couples counselling often focuses on identifying these negative interactional patterns that keep partners stuck. A therapist can help you see what you have stopped noticing about each other.

Be Playful and Use Humour

Be playful with each other and have a sense of humor. You may think that having a serious conversation when it is time to address an issue might be the way to go. However, sometimes it is best to tease the other person to bring light to the situation. It might be helpful to use a funny facial expression or laugh as your teasing your partner so it is understood that you are joking.

Put the Past Behind You and Focus Forward

Put the past behind you and focus attention toward the future, upcoming events, occasions, and celebrations. Good or bad, life goes on. There is going to be arguments in marriage, that is inevitable but there will also be happy times. Positive times should not be wasted, but focused on creating memories with each other no matter what the issue.

If past hurts—such as a breach of trust—continue to interfere with your ability to focus forward, it may be worth exploring how trust can be rebuilt in a structured therapeutic setting.

Aman Gahunia Therapist/Counsellor Focus: Individual Issues, Domestic Violence Recovery, Self-Esteem, Anger & Aggression