COUNSELLING, THERAPY, AND FRIENDSHIP

Published On: January 30, 2015

“Counselling is considered an exchange of opinions and ideas to effectively problem solve an individual’s daily living issues associated with his or her emotional, cognitive, or behavioural problems and can include services such as cognitive-behavioural therapy. (Clinical Solutions, 2006). This is usually time-defined, and includes psychoeducation, providing resources, helping with weighing the pros and cons of change, and goal setting. It is supportive and skill-building, and often occurs at a time of personal crisis, such as depression. There is an inevitable power difference between the individual seeking counselling and the counsellor. The counselling environment provides safety in which to be vulnerable and share secrets, knowing there will be no judgment.

“Psychotherapy is a form of treatment for emotional problems in which a therapist establishes a relationship with an individual for the purpose of modifying self-defeating patterns of behaviour and promoting positive personality growth and development, and it often involves mental health assessments. Psychotherapy is generally undertaken to gain self-knowledge. Most people come to therapy because defences which have served them in the past are no longer working or useful” (Clinical Solutions, 2006). This process, usually time-defined, may include: exploration of core beliefs and value systems; identifying and changing thought patterns; child of origin issues; addressing and treating phobias; and relief from trauma. Psychotherapy is about healing through insight, change, and self-reflection. Increasingly, many individuals are turning to online counselling as a flexible and accessible way to engage in this healing journey. Again, there is an inevitable power difference and a non-judgmental environment.

“Friendship” can range in scope from acquaintances, e.g. neighbours, through casual friends, e.g. co-workers, to deep, intimate friendships, e.g. best friends. What differentiates them is the depth of sharing, support, affection, caring, and attachment, and the potential for distancing “personal agendas”. Friendships are about give and take, a sort of “I’ll show you my wound, and you show me yours – if you want to”similar to the support provided in grief counselling. In contrast to counselling or therapy, there are no power differences, perceived or real, or they are minimal and insignificant. Friendships are more dynamic, broader, and last longer than a relationship with a counsellor/therapist, and often include eating, playing together, and other socializing as well as talking. As a generalization, gender differences result in friendships between men and men, and women and women, being qualitatively different. Men still tend to achieve their identity by what they do, and as a result, are more likely to have acquaintances and casual friends with other men. Women still tend to be identified by their relationships, are more comfortable and fluid in relationships, and often have more intimate friendships with other women than men do.

Ultimately, perhaps friendship is about people you choose to be with, through both good times and bad, whereas counsellors and therapists are professionals you seek out when you are out of your depth and need more experienced help to navigate life’s more turbulent waters, much like the support offered in trauma therapy. At Bayridge Counselling Centres, our therapists provide professional guidance with compassion and expertise, helping individuals move through difficult experiences toward healing and growth.

References:
Wiggins, S. (2009). Counselling. Retrieved September 7, 2009, from http://www.fulwoodtherapy.co.uk/2.html
Clinical Solutions, LLC. (2006). Counselling vs psychotherapy. Retrieved September 7, 2009, from http://www.clinicalsolutions.org/Counseling_vs_Psychotherapy.html